“You know when you know”

How many times in our lives have we heard or said the above phrase “you’ll just know when you know”?

Earlier today I was talking to a new mom of a beautiful 3 month old and we were discussing bedtime rituals and the struggles with that. All moms (and dads) out there you know what I’m talking about. She asked me “how do you know when it’s time to put your daughter to bed”?….Let me back up for a minute and explain our bedtime ritual… We start by having bath time and I always give my daughter a little massage in the water l. We keep things pretty mellow the whole time. After bath time I rub lotion on her and put on her pjs. I give her to daddy for him to say goodnight, hug, and give a kiss goodnight (she can get a little fussy during this part because I’ve walked out of her sight and well that’s pretty traumatic for her these days lol). While daddy and her are having their moment I get a small bottle ready. Her and I then go to her room and I rocked her gently while she has her bottle. I keep her room dark with no lights and just the sound machine playing (rain sounds). I don’t talk to her I just hold her. After her bottle I rock her until she’s ready to be laid down in her crib.

My friend has a similar routine but she said when she lays her daughter down she just cries and takes forever to fall asleep so she asked how do I know when it’s time.

I had to take a minute to think about it because I didn’t know how to answer her. Even my husband had had problems getting her to relax and go to bed. I finally determined the only answer I could give she wouldn’t like. The answer: “You just know when you know”. I put my daughter to bed every night (something I’m kinda stingy about because I absolutely love to… I’m working on letting my husband hehe) so I know my daughters body language. I’m with her all day everyday so I know her very well. Sometimes rocking her takes 5 minutes of and other times maybe 30. I don’t rush her bedtime, even if my favorite show is about to come in or if I have to go to the bathroom (this is what my husband struggles with). I just relax and let her do her thing. I personally think that’s important in anything with my daughter…. Be present. I’ve come to thoroughly enjoy that dark, quiet time just rocking her. Just her and I.

I explained to my friend there comes a moment when my daughter is not quite asleep but is still and just peaceful. When this moment happens I pause and embrace that moment because I know these days won’t last forever, and then I lay her in her crib. From there she falls completely asleep within a couple minutes.

I certainly hope I was a little help to her because I know I got so much help and advice from others so it’d be nice to pay it forward.

Looking back to day one of finding out I was pregnant I haven’t stopped reading articles, researching theories, etc…but I’ve made every decision for me, my daughter, and my family based on how I feel and living by the phrase “i’ll know when I know”.


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