Yesterday was my first mothers day since my daughter was born. I found it to be a very emotional day.
I’m so blessed to celebrate my first mothers day with my daughter. I don’t see this as a day for me but for her and I! Becoming a mother has been everything I expected and so much more. My heart is so full with love and I have found this peace and completeness in my soul that I wasn’t expecting. Before I had her the thought of dying meant that everything stopped there; my story is over. After having her, I don’t feel that way. She carries on my story and will continue on long after I’m gone. There is something very comforting in that. At the same time, having a child has made me realize how precious life is and that I hope to not miss a minute of her growing up. By becoming a mother I’ve discovered fears I didn’t know I had and a love that I just didn’t know existed. My lifetime simply isn’t enough to fully express what Carolina means to me. I love being able to spend all my days with her.
Becoming a mother also gives me a greater appreciation for my own mother and I thank her immensely for everything she had taught me. I have a great role model for motherhood.
I’ve mentioned before that being a mom is a lot of guess work and thinking on your toes… I may not always know the right thing to do but everyday I get up and try to be the best mom I can be and create memories that will last her and I a lifetime.
I spent the day with my daughter and I couldn’t imagine doing anything different. She makes every day so much fun. We didn’t do much but we spent the day as a family; which in the big scheme of things is the best gift/present I could get.
My husband took me to lunch and to get sushi of all things so I was very excited about that! I gorged myself on sushi and left ready for a nap; which all of us did! 🙂
While we were at lunch I could tell others were there celebrating mothers day as well. It hit me at that moment, that I was part of this ‘club’; the club of mothers. Yes, I have celebrated mothers day with my mom every year that I can remember…but this was the first time I got to experience it as a mother myself. In years past, especially after getting married and wanting a baby for so long, mothers day was more of a reminder that I wasn’t a mother. Selfishly it felt like a slap in the face in a way. That isn’t to say that I didn’t appreciate showing my mother some extra love and attention on mothers day, but if you have ever been in the position of wanting a child for so long and not thinking it was going to happen for you, holidays are hard. Especially holidays like mothers day, fathers day, etc.
Finally, I got my blessing and she is everything I prayed for. I think about her and I could cry such happy tears. I have thanked God every day since I found out I was pregnant and every day since she was born for her.
Her smile is everything! Her whole life lights up; and I hope she never loses that!
To all the mothers, mothers to be, step moms, dads who play the moms role as well, everyone that cares for a child, I hope you had a great mothers day!