Motherhood

Holy Tantrums! ….

Someone should warn you when your child is around 12 months old that the ‘terrible two’ stage doesn’t mean that it starts when your child is two. My daughter is now 17 months and for last few weeks I’ve noticed a change in her tantrum outbursts.

Before she would get upset for reasonable things….stumble…I left the room… sleepy….etc. But now she will have a complete meltdown for apparently no reason at all. She wants a fork instead of the spoon. She doesn’t want to eat what I gave her. She wants to play with another toy. She can’t see the plane in the sky anymore. I’m left like “whoa child…. it’s not that deep”. I haven’t given into her demands (I don’t think sometimes I try to get her to pay attention to something else instead of the catastrophic event that just occurred to her). Sometimes I wonder if giving her even that kind of attention to distract her is feeding into her need for attention. I’m actually still unsure how I want to handle these tantrums. I want to be consistent in what I do but I wasn’t prepared to start thinking about this so soon! I thought I had a few more months!

I’ve read a lot into the subject and nothing has quite felt like how I would want to deal with it. My mom tells me to lightly ‘pop’ her to get her attention but I feel that doing so 1. teaches her to hit to get the response she wants 2. she’s already upset so I’m not sure how that will help. 3. I’m not quite comfortable with that. I know I was never really spanked as a kid but I know my mom gave my brother and I a few little poppings; and I turned out alright. lol

A lot of articles say to explain to the child what happened and the desired outcome I would like. UM that’s perfect in theory but have you ever tried to calmly explain anything to an upset 17 month old? Not realistic at this stage in her development. I do talk to her but I do it more because I talk to her and explain to her everything that is going on in her environment- I explain why we are getting dressed; what I’m cooking for lunch; etc.

I’ve also read about using a ‘time out’ for tantrums. Again, I can see how that could work for a child a little older but I don’t think my child is ready for that concept fully. I guess I have been up to this point doing a version of time out. When she starts to throw a fit where she flings her arms and legs (oh and the head banging… really child? so unnecessary; she has a flair for the dramatic flair) I will lay her down on the floor where she can’t get into anything or hurt herself then I’ll step back a bit and let her just have it out. I will watch her but I won’t give her the attention to feed into the tantrum. Eventually after a couple of minutes she will get up and come over to get in my lap. If she is still trying to throw a fit I put her back into the spot. Only if she comes to me calmer will I pick her up and hold her; and then talk to her.

Meal times are also becoming a lot more frustrating over the past several weeks. Sometimes I even find myself dreading it. She has been feeding herself with a spoon and fork for a while now which is great….sometimes. But now I can’t feed her without a fit and sometimes it would be easier, quicker, and not to mention CLEANER if I could just feed her so we can get on with going somewhere or if we are on a time crunch. I hate when she starts to throw a fit while eating because I don’t want her to choke on any food. I try to feed her what I cook for my husband and I but she is so finicky about new things that sometimes I don’t know if I should just give her that or if she doesn’t seem to like it give her something that I know she will like. I don’t want to create a habit of making essentially two meals but I also don’t want to force her to eat something she doesn’t like. Can we just go back to when she was drinking formula and that was all that required… lol! kidding! Well maybe a little serious.

I haven’t gotten to the point of pure frustration with her because I have been able to remind myself that this is a normal stage, she is still a baby even though she thinks she is so independent, and this is her way of communicating some of her feelings. So I know this is all a stage and it too will pass but I feel a little unprepared for it and I don’t want to be inconsistent in my actions with her so I’m hoping we find a groove soon. Granted I know that’s when she will start a whole new phase!

Until next time…. props to all the moms (and dads) out there going through similar situations! Parenting by far is the hardest thing I’ve ever done!

Motherhood

–June 7th 2014–

written 11.28.13

Finding out I was pregnant was the biggest shock of my life.

Actually the fact that I was so shocked by the news even surprises me because we had tried for so long and for a good year that’s all I thought about. I would have thought I would be over the moon excited about being pregnant but fear was all I remember feeling. Seeing those two blue lines probably shocks just about everyone no matter if you’ve been trying or not…let’s face it, those two lines change EVERYTHING the minute they appear.

I didn’t expect to be pregnant, especially since I had just started my new job about a month and a half before; so it definitely wasn’t in the plans. My husband was even fishing when I decided to take the test because I was certain it would be negative (if you know my husband than this fact doesn’t shock you; hell I think he will be fishing when I go into labor). I have taken probably 30 test before and always saw 1 line or ‘not pregnant’ so why would this time be any different. I didn’t have any major symptoms I simply just couldn’t remember when my last cycle was so I figured rather be safe than sorry, right? I was working out really hard and taking supplements and playing around with my diet. That decision of checking turned out to be a good one since it was positive. 🙂

As soon as I saw the lines I cried. I was in pure shock. I have never felt shock like this before. I called my husband to tell him the news; he was thrilled! I called my mom and told her; she actually got a little teary from being so excited. I remember getting off the phone and sitting on the couch and just stared out the window; no sounds, nothing. My dogs just sat in front of me staring at me. I remember thinking and asking myself ‘how was my body going to change?’ ‘How would work handle the news?’ ‘Would everything be okay with the pregnancy and baby?’ ‘Was CJ and I really ready for this?’ ‘What about insurance (because I didn’t have any)?’ “oh my gosh, am I going to start throwing up?

At this time, I had to be just over 4 weeks along.

When I came to and digested the news as much as I could so like anyone else that finds out they are pregnant I knew I needed to call my doctor. Um problem: I had to make sure I could get on my husband’s insurance before proceeding so I frantically got that all taken care of.

Doctor appointment was scheduled for November 9th @ 8:00am. Waiting for November 9th was torture…days seemed like weeks and weeks like months. We only told our immediate family and only very close friends of ours and pretty much swore them to secrecy. Not telling people wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be; UM probably because I was just coming to terms with what was going on. The hardest part was feeling so incredibly nauseous ALL DAY LONG and not letting anyone know I was feeling so poorly.

November 9th finally arrived! My husband and I went to the doctor bright and early. We did the ultrasound first and holy moly hearing the heartbeat was incredible! This sound was coming from inside me… WEIRD! It became a little more real for me after that. The doctor said everything so far was perfect and I was spot on with my dates as I was in my 10th week at that appointment. My due date will be around June 7th 2014 (this is 3 days after our wedding anniversary)! We got the pictures from the ultrasound and that was my baby’s first picture!

My husband and I finally decided it was ‘safe’ to tell work and then once I informed work then we would make it facebook official for all to know; because let’s face it you’re not really in a relationship, married, pregnant if it isn’t on facebook! (How dumb right!?!) That was the first time this pregnancy was fun for me. I’m still terrified of whats to come but at least we are getting to the more fun parts!

My next appointment is Dec. 9th which will be pretty basic and then in 4 weeks from then we should be able to see if we are having a boy or girl!