Marriage

Opposites Attract

Being a good wife is hard. I think we are all good at many things. We all juggle multiple things a day and wear many hats so were bound to be good at some, maybe even a lot of things. I wish I could pick the things I’m good at. I mean I know you can always work on certain aspects and things but it’s so hard to remember that during the day. I mean I’m a mother, wife, daughter, sister, Dog mommy (that’s a real thing), cleaner of the house, home chef, etc…how can I remember everything I want to change/improve? And being a good wife should be easy, right? 

I made a post around New year’s that I wanted to focus on being a better wife and sometimes I don’t know if I’m doing any better. Let me start off by saying I love my husband. Love him so very much. He’s my best friend. Now that I’ve stated that…. He can drive me absolutely bonkers. I mean bat shit crazy. We’re very different. The saying opposites attract couldn’t be a more accurate description of us. I grew up in the suburbs, him the country. I am a homebody, he can’t sit still (for more than a few minutes I swear). I’m all about family and spending every moment with them, he is very career focused.

We bicker about everything like a couple that’s been married for 50 years. To the outside world they probably think we don’t like each other half the time, but it’s all in fun.

The biggest difference between us I’d that I’m a planner, organizer, more serious person (I don’t think I’m very fun because I’m always thinking about the next thing or the consequences/results). He’s laid back, non planner, non organizer, and not serious about anything. There is nothing more frustrating than a serious person communicating with the jokester. I can get so frustrated about something and then he’ll do/say something funny and I’ll laugh. “See, you’re not upset” that”s the next thing off his tongue. O. M. G. Soooo not the case!!!

After the day is done or he leaves for work I kick myself because I know I should be able to laugh about what he says or does. “Why did I get so frustrated about something so dumb? Why couldn’t I just relax?” Why is it that as soon as he leaves or I’m falling asleep I can let it go but when I’m face to face with him I can’t? How can I remember in the moment not to flip out on him?

The question I really want to ask is why can’t he just realize I’m like this and not drive me crazy? That would’ve easy because I wouldn’t have to change anything. Ha! Oh well a girl can dream. Seriously though, I know it would take both of us to be aware and in the moment.

I don’t think I’m a bad wife but I definitely want to be better. Tomorrow’s a new day and another day to try!

Motherhood

Big day!! No more bottles… We hope!!!

Yesterday was a big day in our household. My daughter tried organic puffs for the first time. I don’t know who was more unsure about them but I know one thing…she sure did not like the taste at all. Actually gor a video of her spitting it out which was pretty comical.

I didn’t push it I just gave her a few tries and we stopped for the day. At dinner time I gave her a few banana pieces to see if she would like that better; I think she just enjoy playing with the pieces more than trying to eat it. I anticipated she would want to play with her food first which I’m totally fine with I know that’s how they learn. It’s actually really cute to watch.

I also noticed that yesterday I could see the top two teeth and the ones beside them actually starting to show in the guma. I decided that we might want to start transitioning from a traditional bottle to the next step. We’re going all in and trying the spoutless cup instead of using a traditional sippy cup; this should be exciting (and messy). I bought munchkin brand the 360° spoutless cup and I absolutely love it.

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If you’re in the process of using something other than bottles or about to look into it. I found it at the babies r us. I think you can also find them at Target. Walmart sells a different brand I believe it’s called the ‘wow cup’. It’s the same concept. As with anything you can also order from Amazon as well. I played around with her drinking from other cups a while ago but I got lazy because well let’s face it I can get a lot of things done while she’s feeding herself. However I need to just suck it up and teach her.Bring out the bibs and the towels to clean up the mess around her face. She hasn’t grasped the concept that she can’t gulp down like she does with the bottle.

Today was the day!! I started with no bottles and we made it! Overall it was a little frustrating at times but we made it. I have found that if I make it into a game she likes it better.

We also tried those puffs again and while she didn’t want to feed herself when I fed them to her she seemed to like it. During snack time she was drinking out of a cup and chewing on puffs and I immediately went back in time when I first held her. She was so small and helpless. With each day she is growing and getting smarter. Of course I’m so proud of her! Today after she would take a sip of water out finish a puff she would look up to me as if she was saying “look Mom I did it”. I love that look! I guess I should be used to that lump in my throat and feeling in my heart but I’m not sure if I will ever be used to that feeling. This child has made me an emotional mess!

And just when I didn’t think it could get better she looked and reached up to me, when I pulled her up she gave me the biggest hug. At that moment she was that little baby that needed her mommy!!!

Motherhood

My daughter may turn orange

My daughter has loved all the foods I have made her so far but she really loves carrots and sweat potatoes. Let’s see if she turns orange! 🙂 I made carrots on Monday while my daughter had her bottle!

Just hanging out watching mommy make carrots!!
Just hanging out watching mommy make carrots!!

Here is how I make her carrot puree in a very simplistic way (which I don’t know if it can get simpler honestly)! In the time it will take me to put this post together I would have been almost done with making this puree! 🙂

I clean, peel,  and cut off ends! Step 1 complete
I clean, peel, and cut off ends! Step 1 complete
Once fork tender, blend/puree to the consistency you want for your baby. My daughter is starting to have her few a little chunkier so I didn't add water but you may need to if you need your baby's food smoother
Once fork tender, blend/puree to the consistency you want for your baby. My daughter is starting to have her few a little chunkier so I didn’t add water but you may need to if you need your baby’s food smoother! Step 2 complete
I cut into fairly small yet even pieces (this makes it simpler to puree and cook faster)
I cut into fairly small yet even pieces (this makes it simpler to puree and cook faster) Step 3 Complete
scoop into ice cue trays. I used to do this very neatly but now I just scoop with spoon and dump! :) Step 4 complete
scoop into ice cube trays. I used to do this very neatly but now I just scoop with spoon and dump! 🙂 Step 4 complete
wrap with foil, freeze overnight, transfer to freezer bag (date and label) step 5 complete
wrap with foil, freeze overnight, transfer to freezer bag (date and label) step 5 complete

A 2 lb bag of carrots made about 24-26tbsp. Did I mention that the carrots cost $1.96!!!! WHAAAAAT!! That’s a deal!!!

Marriage

Good Mom; Bad Wife!?!?!

The baby honeymoon has ended in my household over the last several months and I’m just coming to realize it.

When I delivered my daughter I saw a side of my husband I simply didn’t know existed. He was amazing while I was in the hospital. I ended up needing a c-section so I was limited on what I could do those first few days. My husband did everything, without complaint. He took care of me when I had to get up, showering, basically anything that involved me standing up or bending over. He changed diapers, held our daughter as she slept, helped me figure out how to nurse her. Even when he could sleep he didn’t because he was constantly checking on our daughter. He also had to come home periodically to take care of my two dogs.

He had tears in his eyes everyday that week. He said when he would run home he would cry leaving us. I was in complete awe of this man. I never knew of this man and I fell in love with him all over again.

……..

Now fast forward to today. He leaves an empty bag on the table (when the trash can is right next to him), he will hand me something to put I the dirty cloths bin when he is in the same room as the laundry, he hasn’t cooked a meal in I don’t know how long, or cleaned anything. This was the man I was used to.

Now since I stay at home I have no problem cooking, doing laundry, cleaning. You’ll probably think I’m weird but I actually enjoy this work. I’m a little OCD so cleaning is therapeutic to me. I don’t ask him nor expect him to take care of all these things. Somehow, I feel like I’m a bad wife now that I’ve become a mother.

I am pretty obsessed with my daughter and I absolutely love being a mother. Even through screaming fits, sleepless nights, teething, EVERYTHING, I love being a mom. I think I’m a good mother. I don’t mean to brag or boast, I just feel comfortable with being a mother… It feels natural, so I feel like I give her my best.

At the same time, while I’m being a good mother I’m also being a bad wife because I’m constantly getting aggravated by my husband. Unfortunately, I have a tendency to let my opinions fly out of my mouth whether I want them to or not… Even when I know I should just keep my mouth shut…I don’t listen. Therefore, I let my husband know I’m aggravated, and do so often.

I don’t even know why I get so aggravated by him. He hasn’t changed. But then maybe I have. As soon as I give him a piece of my mind I immediately want to rewind time and not say anything. Sometimes I get aggravated because I’m aggravated and I know there isn’t a good reason to be, which is really upsetting. Yet, I am too prideful to admit that to him so I just go along and stay annoyed. I guess the best way to explain it is that I feel like I’m at the peak of PMS and literally the sound of someone breathing ticks you off and you know it’s dumb to be this annoyed but you don’t care you’re annoyed nonetheless (sorry men, I know you can’t relate to that one).

I love my husband more then I could ever explain. Forever simply isn’t long enough for us to be together. I’m so lucky to have a daughter with him. I’m sooooo thankful he has given me the opportunity to stay home with our daughter. I love my life. I feel bad that sometimes I act so unappreciative for everything I have, but I don’t know how to not get annoyed with some of the things he does (or doesn’t do).

I’m sure it doesn’t help that we are both very sarcastic people and have used our dry sense of humor in our relationship since the beginning. I think that isn’t working anymore and it’s taking some adjustment. I’m also the person who will keep a lot of my real feelings in and not want to talk about them until I understand them and he always wants everything to be okay all the time. As you can imagine, that combination doesn’t quite work well together sometimes.

I want to work on not only being a good mother but also a better wife. My husband and I are the best of friends and our love is so comfortable. I think we just need to figure out how to be husband/wife AND daddy/mommy at the same time.

Motherhood

So much to be thankful for/happy 6 months

I don’t know just where to begin. I’ve had such an amazing holiday weekend. Having my daughter here had made the holidays brighter. So excited about Christmas! We didn’t do anything major just came down to Indy to stay at my parents house. They adore their granddaughter. My brother came down and we actually celebrated thanksgiving on Friday because my brother is a Firefighter and had to work on Thursday. This was actually really nice since we weren’t rushed getting down to Indy on Thursday.

My baby girl also turned 6 months old. She’s becoming such a fun little girl. Interacting with me and others more. Always laughing and babbling on about something. When she sleeps she’s breathtaking.

Over the past month she has started to do the following:
Makes gurgle sound
Loves oatmeal
Pushes herself up very well
Laughs at everything
No more bald spots
‘sings’ herself to sleep
Recognizes daddy when he gets home

We got her 6 month winter/christmas theme pictures on Saturday. I’m so impatient to get them. We ended up being there for 2 hours and did 7 or 8 outfits. Wowza. The photographer took over 300 pictures. So stoked.

As we steer packed up and ready to head home I’m torn because I hate leaving my parents house but it will be nice to have our old routine back.

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I hope everyone out there in blog world had a wonderful holiday and safe travels wherever you went!!

Blogging

One Lovely Blog Award

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WOW!!! Thank you to Bespectacled Mother for nominating me for this award! It was a nice surprise when I woke up this morning. I love reading her posts, if you aren’t following her then you should definitely check her out! Sorry it took me a little bit to make a post; my daughter decided again that naps were overrated today!! I’m still pretty new to the blog world but I’m learning more each time I sign on. One thing that I have noticed is that everyone I’ve chatted with in comments or messages has been so incredibly nice. The kind of people I would interact with in the real world. It’s nice to know there are such lovely, supportive people in the world. I will do my best by following all the rules.

Here are the rules:

•Thank the person who nominated you for the award=check
•Add the One Lovely Blog Award logo to your post and/or blog=check
•Share 7 facts/or things about yourself.
•Nominate 7 bloggers you admire.

7 facts:

1. I’ll start with what comes to mind first; which once you read it you may think I’m a little strange. I’m very afraid of squirrels. CANNOT stand them. They are creepy, and big around where I live. I’ve been afraid of them since as long as I can remember. Do you remember the song by Ray Stevens ‘The Mississippi Squirrel Revival’?? I guess I watched that too many times when I was a kid. Not sure what I’m talking about or now you are singing the song and want to watch it again… Well it’s your lucky day here is the video (Mississippi Squirrel Revival). You’re welcome.

2. I love to read. I wish I had more time to read. I wish I had taken more time when I had it to read. I did a challenge a couple years ago where I read 1 book a month. Now, this isn’t too much as sometimes I can finish a book if it is really good in a day or two; but it was nice to turn off the tv and get lost in a book. I hope to pass that love of reading onto my daughter. I am thinking of a way to add onto my blog regarding books and getting back to reading more…. more to come on that later.

3. I’m still not over the lose of my Granny from just over 2 years ago. I think about her every day, if not multiple times during the day. I have a new outlook on life after losing her. I absolutely hate that it took losing her to step back and enjoy my life more. I know though that she would be proud of my new insight regardless. I truly wish she could have met my daughter. It breaks my heart every day. Something I’ve never shared with anyone because I don’t know how they would respond and I’m not quite sure I understand the feeling myself but since her death I’ve become afraid of dying. It sounds crazy I know, but I guess I never gave it much thought before. These feeling were really amplified after having Carolina. I watch these sad movies, listen to the sad songs about losing someone, watch the news how children have to grow up without a parent…. it’s torture. I know there is no way of knowing what the future holds but that alone is frightening to me. So I try to be in the moment, every moment so that she gets all of me while she can. It’s also not the act of dying that scares me its the thought of being gone and missing out on everything to come. That scares the HELL of out me.

4. I’m kind of obsessed with my dogs. I have a black Labrador named Kona and a Golden Retriever named Sadie. I’ve had Kona since she was 6 weeks old and she has been my world since then. She will be 6 in December and she suffers from arthritis in her back leg so she isn’t as active as she used to be. She still loves her tennis balls, the ‘chuck it’ balls, basically anything that resembles her ball. She is extremely well behaved. She never needs to be tied out (and we live on 3+ acres not fenced), she knows every dog command (some people believe she understands me when I talk to her like a person). As a lab she has never chewed anything in the house when we are gone. Just a great dog; we got lucky. She is a sweetheart but when she is in pain she can be kind of moody. Sadie will be 3 this December (pure coincidence both birthdays are in December). I got her in June of 2012 when she was about 1.5 years old. She came from good people but they didn’t really work on good puppy behavior. She is a licker and she likes to have a paw on you constantly. She is a little rambunctious but she is SUCH a lover. She is the sweetest dog who wants nothing more than to make you happy and to cuddle. She is simply A-M-A-Z-I-N-G with Carolina. Carolina just smiles and laughs when Sadie comes around her. My husband finds her a little of a pest (but I think its because she can be a lot like him and just pick on someone constantly). But I know he loves her because I’ll find them cuddling at night. Who can resist a good dog cuddle; not even my manly husband. My day just isn’t complete if I’m not with them.

5. I love to bake and cook. I enjoy baking treats more. I like to bake my dad things because he just gets so excited about everything. I often don’t eat a lot of what I make. Not because it’s not good but I have more joy in making it than eating it. I have a tendency to not use exact measurements when baking/cooking so it’s hard to make the same thing twice.

6. My favorite college course was a Wine Tasting course. I’m not joking…. it was a class where every session we sampled 6-8 different wines. We learned about grapes, how wines were made, stored, etc. We learned about wine pairings, and how to properly taste wine. We even took field trips to very nice restaurants in downtown Indy and have a 3-4 course meal with different wines. Does it get any better than that?!?! UM no! I actually developed a love for red wines in that course. Now for everyone thinking how does that class help you in the business world? easy… ever been to a business dinner? Well you can suggest a good wine and it’s a good conversation piece at the beginning. See. I applied it to the real world.

7. I love, love, love music. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t listen to music and get up and move. I have a wide range of music that I like. I listen to music that allows me to feel something, think something, escape from something. Primarily I listen to country music and rock music. I also listen to music primarily from years prior. This could be a whole post on just my music choices. I love Conway Twitty, George Jones, Tammy Wynette, Bob Wills, Johnny Cash, Buck Owens. I love the Bakersfield sound! I am kind of obsessed with my man GEORGE STRAIT!!! (the perfect man) lol! I’ve seen probably 50-75 country artists live. I also love love love classic Rock; Beatles, Zepplin, The Who, Hendrix, Dylan, The Doors, The Stones, The Eagles (I have every song), my all time favorite Van Halen, The Zombies, Hall & Oates, Buffalo Springfield. I love good R&B: stevie wonder, Michael Jackson, Marvin Gaye, Prince, Vandross, Otis Redding, Smokey Robinson. I also love classical and jazz music. I listen to classical and jazz because I like that it doesn’t have words, as a listener you can go wherever you want to go. You can listen to the same song day after day and you may not hear the same thing or feel the same way. I love that about music. Carolina and I have music time everyday where we listen, sing, dance. My favorite radio station on Pandora right now is Lite Rock Songwriters… OMG every song is AWESOME!!!!

8. (because I’m an over-achiever) I love COWBOY BOOTS!!! I would have 100 pairs if my husband would let me store that many! :):)

phewwwww. All 7 facts are done. Plus one!

Last rule is to nominate 7 people. This is where I struggle because I don’t know if you have been nominated for this already so please ignore if you have and I apologize I double nominated you. I’m picking these blogs because I enjoy reading their posts/blogs.

1. SimplyHonest.SimplyReal

2. The Dazed Mommy

3. LittleNugget_BigNugget

4. No Fruit for You

5. MeaningfulMommy

6. A Woman’s Lifestyle

okay I only have 6. Again I apologize if any of the 6 listed above have been nominated before.

This was pretty fun to do. Have a great night everyone!!!

Motherhood

The Gift

It’s that time of year when I get sucked into Lifetime and Hallmark’s holiday movies. I re-watch all my favorites as well as look forward to the new ones. This year is different from previous ones because it is as if I’m watching the movies through a new pair of eyes… the eyes of a mother. Most of the time this fact is a wonderful one and gets me so excited about the holidays and the traditions that my family will have. Unfortunately, the movies that aren’t so fun to watch are the sad stories about losing a loved one or even worse a sick child. I can cry just reading the descriptions of the movies. I never thought about those events before becoming a mother, so watching it unfold on tv it gives you that image that you don’t want to imagine.

There was a movie on today called ‘The Ultimate Gift’. It was about how this man is forced to complete 12 life-changing tasks before he can receive his inheritance from his rich grandfather that recently died. In the middle of him completing these tasks he befriends a young girl with leukemia and her mother who is dealing with all that having a sick child entails. I know that this is a movie and these are characters played by actors but I’m aware that somewhere, there is a family experiencing these struggles for real; and that breaks my heart completely. I can’t imagine the pain involved. I can’t imagine the strength that these children have to face such horrible illnesses. I can’t imagine the strength of the parents to keep a smile on their face for their child and possibly more children at home. I can’t imagine being the medical staff having to share such difficult news. I don’t know if I would be that strong faced with these situations and I hope I never have to find out.

This story line hits close to home but not in the way you would think. I never got to meet my husbands sister who battled her own illness. I don’t know the whole story as this is ( and understandably so) still hard for my husband to talk about. I would never want to cause or remind him of this pain by asking questions. Throughout our relationship I have learned bits and pieces about her; her amazing strength; and the life she had from him, his parents, and other relatives. My husband constantly thinks about our daughter and he will ask me constantly if she is napping or even really quiet if she is okay. I go and check in; to ease his mind. Part of me thinks this is in part of what he went through when he was younger. At first, I didn’t understand why he was so adamant about checking. The first week she was born and after we brought her home he would ask me “is she still breathing” every time she was sleeping. It later dawned on me what could be making him so worried; from then on I don’t make a big deal about it… I just go in and check. It takes a couple seconds to do.

While watching this movie I’m reminded of a gift that we received after my daughter was born. It’ll be a moment I hope I never forget. As I’ve mentioned before my daughter was born on May 27th @ 8:32am. She was the first girl born that day… Actually the first baby that day. A few hours after she was born there was a knock on our door; a nurse entered with a gift bag. At first I thought maybe a family or friend stopped by but that wasn’t the case. The nurse explained that a lady stopped by earlier with this gift for the first girl born on May 27th. She didn’t leave a name. I opened the gift and inside was a beautiful little dress outfit and a card.

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My mom read the card. My mom explained that 17 years ago she delivered twins (boy & girl) on May 27th. Sadly,her daughter didn’t make it and for the past 17 years she always drops off a gift to be given to the first girl born on May 27th. What a moving way to honor her daughter. I was so touched by her story but I was so emotional from everything I wasn’t quite ready to read her words in that card just yet. I finally read the card after I got home from the hospital. It was touching; I cried and hugged my daughter extra tight. I can’t imagine her pain. My daughter has wore this out quite a few times and each time I put it on her I think of that women and her words. I always give my daughter one more extra hug.

I’ll never get rid of that dress. I’ll always hold that moment dear to my heart.