Life’s journey

Overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions as I rock my baby in my childhood room.

I remember sitting in my room looking out my window just wondering where my life would take me. It doesn’t seem like that long ago yet it seems like it’s been forever. It is just an extremely emotional thing looking out the same window I did as a child and teenager so many nights but now as a married woman with my baby in my arms.

I remember wondering who I would eventually marry. Would he be someone I went to school with, college? I remember wondering what I would do for a profession? Where would I live? Would I have children? Would I find happiness?

I also remember feeling like I would never grow up. Why does time seem to move so slow as a child and teenager yet moves at lightning speed as an adult. I wish life would slow down now so I could have so much more time with those I love so much.

I don’t know if anyone else has had the opportunity to experience that moment for themselves but it’s amazing.

I wish there was a way to go back in time and tell myself that everything would work out beautifully. That your husband is incredible, hard working, loyal, funny, just a great friend above all. I would tell myself not to overly stress about work. Life is just too short and spend extra time with granny while she’s alive. I would tell myself that your daughter will be the most amazing thing that will ever happen to you!

But I guess if I knew then what I do now I don’t know if I’d be able to appreciate my life like I do.

I love evenings like this. I like coming back home… It reminds me how far I’ve come. It also helps me remember who I was and I appreciate that just as much.

I am truly blessed!!


What makes you smile?

I woke up this morning and poured my cup of coffee took a quick sip and then went to my baby’s room to see her smiling face. Oh the best part of my day! I hope she always stays a morning person (unlike her momma). I started to think what makes this little girl smile. Am I funny looking? Is she excited to see her mommy? Does she know she will get a diaper change, dressed, and then a ba ba (bottle)? Her smile is such an example of pure happiness though! I hope she doesn’t lose that when she gets older.

It got me thinking about what makes me very happy. One thing that always takes me somewhere and fills my heart with happiness is the season of Fall. It’s hard to explain how this season makes me feel so I hope through a list of why it’s one of my favorite times it will become more clear.

1. Simply fall means it’s football season! When I hear MNF football theme song my heart dances. I think back to when I was young and my dad watched the games, cheering for his favorite teams. In high school it was all about what was going on in town on Friday night! In college tailgating was what made Saturdays amazing! Showing school pride and hanging with a family away from family. Football is not just a sport to me; it contains life lessons in every practice, game, season. I have a rule in my house that during indianapolis colt games I will not respond to phone calls, text, or anything. (Let’s hope Carolina learns this rule quickly)!!

2. Hoodies and chunky sweaters! I’ve never been one to love summer clothes and bathing suits so fall clothing styles more closely represents my style. Faded jeans and a hoodie is my ideal outfit. It’s comfortable. You can do anything in it. It’s easy.

3. Bonfires. Yes you can have bonfires in summer but the air in fall is so much more alive to me. Bonfires, hoodies, after you favorite team wins the game…. Are you getting the picture?

4. The colors in nature. I love love when the leaves change colors. The reds, oranges, yellows, and all the shades in between; there is no other season that is more colorful and beautiful. My house is located in the perfect place to see all the beauty. I have a corn field across the street and so the corn stalks are drying out in a golden hue that shines. A free line at the corner of the house that has all the colors of fall. A maple tree that hasn’t been the same color year after year. (I’ll attach photos that I’ve taken in falls past. All pictures are from right around my house) i love my morning walks to see the sights as everyday the landscapes change. It’s so ironic to me that the world is so full of beauty when plants are dying and preparing for winter.

5. Cool crisp morning air. Nothing can take my breath away like a cool crisp fall morning. The smell, the sights, the sounds. It’s perfection.

6. Pumpkin anything. Have you ever wondered why we only eat pumpkins in the fall. But pumpkin spice lattes, pumpkin bread, pumpkin pies!!! Yum yum yum!!! Now all I want is a little of all of it.

7. Fall scented candles. Pumpkin, apple cider, pine, apricot…. And all the crazy fall combinations out there!

8. New tv episodes. Ahhh 8-10p is the best time for tv with all the series coming back on with new episodes. Scandal, modern family, the voice just to name a few.

9. The beginning to the holiday season and family traditions. This year this is what I’m most looking forward to. My favorite childhood memories start with fall season and into the new year. With Carolina here now I’m finally able to create new memories with my new family! Walking around fall festivals, pumpkin patches, playing in the leaves, family trips, thanksgiving! Ahh my heart is full just thinking about all that we can do!

Fall is as you can see is my favorite time of year. Thinking about all of the things listed above has for me smiling just like Carolina does when she wakes up. It’s simple and honest. Carolina has a way though to help me see the beauty in many things that I didn’t notice before.

Here’s to fall coming around the corner!!!










Precious moments and memories

Today my sweet Carolina is 3 months old! Oh my goodness where does the time go? I never had time fly by so much until I was on a two feed schedule which is now a 3-4 hour feed schedule. The last 13 weeks has just been a joy. Yes, there have been many many sleepless nights and evenings of just screaming and screaming but even the toughest days have been better than any day before her.

I started taking pictures each month to show her changes and growth; and wow how she has changed in just 3 months! I also add text to the pictures to highlight milestones during her development! After her 12 month picture I’m not sure what I will do with the pictures but I’ll do something (Suggestions are welcomed). I’ve attached the photos for the past 3 months!

I also write her letters for major milestones and each month to share my thoughts and feelings with her. I wrote about family members she’s met. I will give the letters to her one day when she is older. I hope she will appreciate the memories and knowing more about her mother.

Today has been such a beautiful day! Happy 3 months baby girl mommy loves you to the moon and back.